Well... What if?

As the school year is ending for me, there's a lot of things on my mind... "What if" is a question I find myself often pondering. There's this undertow in my thoughts that makes me feel anxious. The planner and organizer inside of this type A personality is ticking. What if I do something wrong? I have decisions to make... Where am I going to live this summer? What kind of job do I want to try and get? What do I want my focus to be? The "what if" sometimes feels like it can be a slow death... Especially when my imagination gets the best of me. Even just the idea that I'm almost half done with college makes my mind spin.


But I know that most of these thoughts come from a root of fear... That my anxious thoughts are not right. "What if" can be a blessing, but instead, I'm allowing it to become a monster.


Just the other day I was convicted with this question: "Why is it so inherently in our nature to try and understand the future?" Literally, all the Jesus has asked me to do is: have faith, trust Him, and take one step at a time. Why that is so hard, I have no idea. It's so simple, and yet so profound. For years I've tripped over the next stair in front of me because I was so busy trying to make it all the way up the staircase in one leap... As if somehow that would make my life better, or that I would somehow make Jesus proud. But what I really need is to just stay in step with the Spirit, because all the answers I need are ready and available in God's Word! Praise the Lord!


Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:6-8)